wonderfully made: to whom it may concern

Thursday, June 18, 2015

to whom it may concern

It might just be my personality but I'm going go ahead and take advantage of my ability to blame the following post on my pregnancy hormones. Is it just me, or is the world a little off its game lately? Also, see alternate titles to this post: "rants and raves" OR "dear (fill in the blank)". Let's get started.

Dear Motley-

        Just because YOU are comfortable doesn't mean that the two humans in bed are comfortable with your presence. You're lucky that your father sleeps like a rock and doesn't mind you throwing your 60lb body on top of him but that would NOT fly with your mama. Your days in this bed are numbered, so I hope you are soaking these aggressive cuddles in!

Dear Houston-

     You can take your tropical storm back, we don't want it. There's a REASON we don't live near the coast. Plus I'm pretty sure we're good on rain for the next few months. Mmk? Thanks.

Dear Old Navy-

      This is why you can't have nice things. What, pray tell, is this monstrosity? No, I am NOT this big yet and my body has not morphed into a box. Do you really expect me to pay $37 for a sponge-bob square shaped polyester tent? Also, you do realize women are taller than 5'4", right? Those same women would like to be able to buy a maxi dress that touches the ground every once in a while. What is this?! Way to make a pregnant lady feel good about herself. (Oh, and maybe you should stock some variety in sizes in your store. Is there any middle ground between a size XS or XL in a simple overpriced maternity tank?)

Dear Staples-

     Yes, cardboard sheets are only $5 and thus considered pocket change to you, but they are still considered a product, right? So when I ordered $5 worth of cardboard sheets for this project, I expected them to come packaged to where they wouldn't arrive damaged and I could have used the entire sheet if I wanted. When cardboard is the product, don't you think you should package it in a little more than some saran wrap wrapped around it a couple times? Thanks for the $5 coupon to use 'on my next order'. Thanks, but no thanks. 

Dear BCBG/Marshalls-

        $30 blinged-out sandals are considered a bit of a splurge for me so when I bought them last fall, didn't wear them all winter (duh) and pulled them out this spring, I expected them to NOT snap in the same exact spot on both the left and the right foot within 5 hours of wearing them. No, my feet have NOT swollen or grown in pregnancy and yes, I WOULD like to wear my cute sandals more than 5 times before having to completely trash them because they can't be salvaged. Oh, and thanks to your customer service departments for returning my multiple calls and emails. (sarcasm)

Dear Target-

          This is pretty funny, but I'm not mad at you. You keep being you. Kisses!

buy 4 packs of oreos, get free milk
I actually bought the 4 packs of Oreos just to get the free milk and we are going to eat every.single.oreo (we're already halfway done)

I'll leave my fiesty-ness at that for today. Anything got you ranting lately? Happy Thursday!!!

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